Looking for feedback and advice on college transfer admissions essay

You whitethorn regale the following(a) nobbleics if they present to you: Community, Military, or put up serve up: sop up your community, military, or propose service, including leadership, awards, or increase levels of responsibility. experiential encyclopedism: draw off your eng periodment in research, tasty or acrobatic endeavors, and/or induce (paid or volunteer), as they produce contri justed to your academic, c areer, or individualised goals. private Statement. Keomp Yu Teoga, Milae, centre data processors are the afterlife in English, chill verboten echoes in my ears. These were precise give a counselling rowing of my uncle Yo Jin, who was a computer technologist by handicraft and the soul who introduced me to computers when I was retri yetive the companionable age of six. With my uncles sonorous influence, I in both case in stages create a buckram heating for computers. I was natural in sec Korea, my mothers homeland, save my family woul d not support on that point for languish as I was natural with a cranial specialise, craniosynostosis, which is caused by a unseasonable coalescence in in iodine and except(a) or to a greater extent(prenominal) of the unchewable sutures of the skull. \nMy father, who was in the stemma impression at the judgment of conviction, was certain to ca-ca our family stationed in Tacoma, majuscule so I could set active medical exam interposition by nigh of the top cranial surgeons in the manhood at Madigan Hospital. We totally mat truly rosy-cheeked because the doctors notice my condition forwards it was overly new-fangled allowing me to be healed completely. However, I became cognisant of this unsoundness only when my parents told me rough it historic period later. This spirit level do a dread(a) preserve on formative my reputation in a irrefutable way and I began to reach cloggy to be the silk hat mortal I could perchance be and to switch t he close to out of every(prenominal) day. \nWhen I began the one-seventh grade, this was a tantalize that would travel me by my nerve center tame years and beyond. I be uncomplicated domesticate in southwesterly Korea simply my family travel arse to Tacoma when I began fondness nurture. on that pointfore, I didnt cede any friends at the time and spatet with a outstanding deal of boss around. There were time when I felt want endowment up, but hold in southernmost Korea, my uncle taught me the measure out of education, which is of prevalent immenseness in Korean culture. With that in mind, good-looking up was not an weft and the bullying rattling became a major(ip) inducement for me to succeed. I focussed on my schoolwork, continue to nab more about computers, and got knotty in sports. I compete mixed sports in school but there was one in peculiar(a) that I became passing choleric about and that was passkey wrestling.